For as long as I can remember modern story-telling has created the impression that we must choose between work and family. The hero and heroine is offered a promotion that will propel them into corporate greatness and financial security. The cost of accepting their offer, though means losing touch with family. The message over and over we hear is that success comes only by sacrificing our connections.
Even biographies I read by sports champions and business giants supports this idea of one or the other and yet when I look them up on social media they often are photographed with their families. Something is not adding up. Something is missing.
What is missing is understanding. When life is set up as a hierarchy (the highest value is at the top), we are encouraged by the promotion carrot to compromise and sacrifice at the deepest levels. We need to see that in a hierarchy, leaders will only promote the people who have the qualities that they deem useful. If those leaders do not value their family equally with their achievements, then they will expect you to sacrifice as they do. Control or be controlled is the law in such a situation. This means flattery, perks, and happy slavery become the norm for those attempting to advance "higher."
I put higher in quotes because we have to ask ourselves if we are sacrificing the relationships closest to us to move ahead, are we really moving higher? A carrot that encourages compromise at our deepest levels is not a carrot, but a curse. Those kinds of compromises result in us sacrificing our authentic selves and therefore our liberty. No one can put a price on these.
Since belonging and significance are two of our deepest needs, we are inclined to make these painful choices again and again. The solution lies in satisfying another one of our needs: truth, which definitely sets you free. Pursue who the real you is. If you have lost sight of you, step one is to examine where you have compromised your authentic self and then correcting the mistake. Step by step you will develop the resolve and confidence to say no to choices that jeopardize your authenticity.
The real you is strong enough to create a life that includes quality achievements and deep relationships. Buckle up when you do. Your freedom and joy will skyrocket!