Category: Soul

Decision making, emotions, wisdom, relationships

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Customer or Consumer: The Choice is Ours

I don’t remember when being called a consumer rubbed me the wrong way, but it certainly started soon after we started raising organic beef.

Working in nature has a way of clarifying life. Our cattle consume grass to make magnificent meat. Our chickens consume bugs to produce orange egg yolks. Earthworms consume debris to produce rich soil. These are all processes we agies understand. But to apply this concept to people buying and selling goods lowers the value of human life.

According to the Etymology Online Dictionary, using the term “consumer” started in the 15th century as, “one who squanders or wastes, one who uses up goods or articles, one who destroys the exchangeable value of a commodity by using it. This, my friend, is not a compliment. By 1890, the United States adopted its use as “consumer goods,” and by 1919, our government tracked the Consumer Price Index.

So, what were we before 1890? People were customers. The 1828 Websters Dictionary describes us as, “One who frequents any place of sale for the sake of purchasing goods.” It is a subtle but important distinction. A store owner developed a relationship with his or her customers. In this bond, people exchanged goods and services for mutual benefit. A lumber mill owner knew his customers and saw the home they built with his enterprise. A farmer knew his customers and saw how healthy and strong his neighbors became as a result of his toil. The business owner/customer bond benefited entire communities because people focused on a higher good.

The word customer encourages people to create, to connect, to build. The word consumer does the opposite. In 2012, Northwestern University studied people in four scenarios, which used the word consumer or focused on being a consumer. The outcome demonstrated that materialistic cues triggered increased selfishness and decreased trust in the groups, which the authors tied to negative personal and social consequences in our society.

You don’t have to look far to see this play out in our communities. Low trust, competitiveness with resources, and selfishness plague our culture, a trend that can be traced from the 1800s. But we are not victims. Those of us who create food can also create a culture where humans return to their highest good by simply calling our clientele…customers. 

Until next time,

Dr. Jane

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The Problem with Forgiveness

I originally wrote this article just before the 2016 elections, but it is just as timely now.

This fall has been hard on a lot of people, including me, due to the recent elections. Between loosed lipped acquaintances and social media rants my list of offenses has grown long.

The negativity feels out of control. Some of my friends have left social media because of the rudeness of others. I’ve heard of family members who stopped talking because one person voted for “the wrong candidate.” I came close to disconnecting from people too, until I realized this is the world I live in. Isolation is not a healthy option.

I looked at my lengthy list of people who had offended me in the past months and saw that I had two responses. I could either destroy people with my words or destroy my list with forgiveness. I chose the later.

The problem with forgiveness is that most people don’t understand what it means, so, they don’t see it as an attractive option in ending conflict. Most people think when they forgive they are saying what a person did is all right. Far from that, forgiveness is not a declaration of innocence on the other people’s actions; they are still accountable for their actions. Instead, it means to give back, or to let go. It means the hurt or offended person is ready to heal.

Forgiveness gives power to the one who is hurt. When we are injured we feel powerless and vulnerable to attack, so all we see is our pain. Once we choose to forgive, we regain the power to heal because forgiveness calms our emotions so that we can become the answer to our own problems. On the front end, this process does not make sense. We long for revenge or the last word, but I experienced deep healing and peace after forgiving some people who deeply wounded me during my childhood. Instead of staying stuck in my pain, forgiveness gave me the ability to heal and grow and get them out of my heart.

The other problem with forgiveness is that we think it is weak. We think negative emotions and destructive words are powerful. Truth is, rage, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment actually weaken us as they destroy us and those we love in the end. We are designed to be powerful and powerful people can create solutions that inspire, reconcile, and release peace. 

I have not mastered the art of forgiveness. Far from it, I am married, I have children, I am on social media, so forgiveness is a daily choice for me. Remember the trend is your friend. I am better at forgiving in 2016 than I was in 2010 or 1973. The more I choose forgiveness, the more I understand that I don’t need to destroy people. I need to dismantle the fear that comes with conflict. Forgiveness restores our ability to do this, so that we choose love and not fear in the middle of disagreement. It’s a powerful choice.

Dr. Jane