Category: Soul

Decision making, emotions, wisdom, relationships

Posted on

Learning How to Not Quit

I’ve been around the block a few times; everyone who reaches their late 50s has.

One of the most memorable was in 2000. We had moved into a new house with construction error. Long story short, I ended up bed-ridden from black mold, my immune system weakened, my mitochondria damage, and my mind scrambled.

Fast forward to 2006, my husband and I decide to quit our day jobs, move to Montana, and start an organic beef business from scratch. We left everything familiar for rural living, home-educating, and living off the land. We survived floods, drought, fires, and yes, pestilence.

Latest time around the block…2022. I slip a vertebra over another one in my back due to silent spinal degeneration. Once again, I ended up in bed, riddled with pain and a referral for a fusion.

What do these events have in common? A lesson. Every challenge does. But I have learned, while talking to people, that not everyone is interested in learning while in pain. I admit, it is quite hard, but doable. You may ask, “Dr. Jane, why would you care what lesson there is when you are suffering?” I am glad you asked. We learn for two reasons: first, we want to learn how to get out of our misery, and two, we want to learn how to not let it happen again.

It is too easy to take the victim route when we are suffering by listening to voices that say give up, it’s too complicated to find better answers, or my favorite, it’s God’s will. I’ve listened to these opinions and suffered more, not less. It was only when I decided to take matters into my own hands, and trust God for answers, that I learned to heal. I researched online, read articles, found testimonials, prayed, and talked to people. In the end, I had to decide whether to listen to what I learned or reject it. You’d be surprised how many people are offended when you don’t join their pity parties on your behalf, but that is another article. Hope is unpleasant to the hopeless.

What I have learned is that every obstacle we face, with a fixed determination that says, “I won’t quit. I won’t stop until I find my answers,” the stronger we grow. And the stronger we grow, the more success we can achieve in the next problem, and so on. The reason this is important is that we need to know how powerful we are. We do not lose our consent just because we are brought low. No one can make us give up. Alternatively, no one can hand us our success. Only we can occupy our lives and we do that when we decide to not quit day in and day out.  Even if everyone around you says it won’t work, find a way, and join the destiny of humanity as the overcomers we are.

Onward and Upward!

Meet Dr. Jane

Dr. Jane

Posted on

Customer or Consumer: The Choice is Ours

I don’t remember when being called a consumer rubbed me the wrong way, but it certainly started soon after we started raising organic beef.

Working in nature has a way of clarifying life. Our cattle consume grass to make magnificent meat. Our chickens consume bugs to produce orange egg yolks. Earthworms consume debris to produce rich soil. These are all processes we agies understand. But to apply this concept to people buying and selling goods lowers the value of human life.

According to the Etymology Online Dictionary, using the term “consumer” started in the 15th century as, “one who squanders or wastes, one who uses up goods or articles, one who destroys the exchangeable value of a commodity by using it. This, my friend, is not a compliment. By 1890, the United States adopted its use as “consumer goods,” and by 1919, our government tracked the Consumer Price Index.

So, what were we before 1890? People were customers. The 1828 Websters Dictionary describes us as, “One who frequents any place of sale for the sake of purchasing goods.” It is a subtle but important distinction. A store owner developed a relationship with his or her customers. In this bond, people exchanged goods and services for mutual benefit. A lumber mill owner knew his customers and saw the home they built with his enterprise. A farmer knew his customers and saw how healthy and strong his neighbors became as a result of his toil. The business owner/customer bond benefited entire communities because people focused on a higher good.

The word customer encourages people to create, to connect, to build. The word consumer does the opposite. In 2012, Northwestern University studied people in four scenarios, which used the word consumer or focused on being a consumer. The outcome demonstrated that materialistic cues triggered increased selfishness and decreased trust in the groups, which the authors tied to negative personal and social consequences in our society.

You don’t have to look far to see this play out in our communities. Low trust, competitiveness with resources, and selfishness plague our culture, a trend that can be traced from the 1800s. But we are not victims. Those of us who create food can also create a culture where humans return to their highest good by simply calling our clientele…customers. 

Until next time,

Dr. Jane

Posted on

The Problem with Forgiveness

I originally wrote this article just before the 2016 elections, but it is just as timely now.

This fall has been hard on a lot of people, including me, due to the recent elections. Between loosed lipped acquaintances and social media rants my list of offenses has grown long.

The negativity feels out of control. Some of my friends have left social media because of the rudeness of others. I’ve heard of family members who stopped talking because one person voted for “the wrong candidate.” I came close to disconnecting from people too, until I realized this is the world I live in. Isolation is not a healthy option.

I looked at my lengthy list of people who had offended me in the past months and saw that I had two responses. I could either destroy people with my words or destroy my list with forgiveness. I chose the later.

The problem with forgiveness is that most people don’t understand what it means, so, they don’t see it as an attractive option in ending conflict. Most people think when they forgive they are saying what a person did is all right. Far from that, forgiveness is not a declaration of innocence on the other people’s actions; they are still accountable for their actions. Instead, it means to give back, or to let go. It means the hurt or offended person is ready to heal.

Forgiveness gives power to the one who is hurt. When we are injured we feel powerless and vulnerable to attack, so all we see is our pain. Once we choose to forgive, we regain the power to heal because forgiveness calms our emotions so that we can become the answer to our own problems. On the front end, this process does not make sense. We long for revenge or the last word, but I experienced deep healing and peace after forgiving some people who deeply wounded me during my childhood. Instead of staying stuck in my pain, forgiveness gave me the ability to heal and grow and get them out of my heart.

The other problem with forgiveness is that we think it is weak. We think negative emotions and destructive words are powerful. Truth is, rage, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment actually weaken us as they destroy us and those we love in the end. We are designed to be powerful and powerful people can create solutions that inspire, reconcile, and release peace. 

I have not mastered the art of forgiveness. Far from it, I am married, I have children, I am on social media, so forgiveness is a daily choice for me. Remember the trend is your friend. I am better at forgiving in 2016 than I was in 2010 or 1973. The more I choose forgiveness, the more I understand that I don’t need to destroy people. I need to dismantle the fear that comes with conflict. Forgiveness restores our ability to do this, so that we choose love and not fear in the middle of disagreement. It’s a powerful choice.

Dr. Jane